exploring womanhood
one certainty that i hold with profound conviction is the remarkable influence that the female friendships in my life have had upon me. these relationships have bestowed upon me unparalleled support, wisdom, and a deep-seated sense of connection, leaving me forever indebted to the warmth of their presence.
my mother, who was born and raised in karachi, pakistan, yearned for a life of simplicity. her aspirations encompassed marriage, motherhood, and the completion of her education. however, in light of the prevailing political and economic turmoil in her homeland, emigration to the united states emerged as a more sensible alternative. quite like many immigrant families, my mother and father harbored hopes of securing enhanced educational opportunities, personal emancipation, and the realization of the american dream.
i am the daughter of a woman marked by resilience, resourcefulness, and sensitivity. whose heart overflows with an abundance of love. from the day i had entered into this world, she showed me nothing but unwavering and selfless love, something only a mother could understand. ammi, who knew my favorite foods, who sacrificed her own precious rest to ensure i could enjoy mine. ammi, who recited islamic verses over me each night, ensuring divine protection from the world's malevolence. ammi, who lovingly brushed my hair and cut me mangoes. ammi, who didn’t always quite understand me—though made the consistent effort the last two decades to bridge that gap.
ib gala, 2023.
no one quite fathoms the depths of your soul quite like your bestfriend does. i had the distinct pleasure of meeting lisa during my junior year of high school. though i was unaware at the time, she was destined to become one of my most endearing lifelong bestfriends. as lisa embarked on her journey for a studies abroad program in paris, i knew this would be a pivotal moment in our friendship. would our bond endure the chasm that separates us?
to my joy, it did. we conquered the miles, connecting through whispered calls on our breaks, sharing wisdom despite the 4,633 miles that lay between us. our bond deepened with each conversation. it was not until the night of may 3rd, 2024, that i truly was able to recognize the profound impact lisa had woven into the fabric of my life.
f. scott fitzgerald wrote, “the lonliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly”. as i gazed into the horizon of the familiar neighborhood, seated in my car, i came to a poignant realization: the sole beacon guiding me through this heartbreak was my best friend. she listened patiently as my tears flowed, as rants and anger spilled forth. in her quiet presence, i found clarity, for she stood by as i bared my soul, helping me weave sense from the chaos of my emotions.
in the intricate tapestry of womanhood, each thread tells a story of resilience and strength, woven from the whispers of ancestors and the dreams of today. we are nurturers and warriors, bound together by our shared laughter and tears, navigating the complexities of life with femininity. in our vulnerability lies our power, a soft strength that defies expectations and redefines what it means to be whole. and with every challenge met, we rise anew, celebrating the beauty of our multifaceted selves and the unyielding spirit that connects us, crafting a legacy of love and courage for generations to come.
as the sun dipped lower that particular may evening, everything fell into place. no comfort i’d known could ever compare to the warmth of the women in my life. those who lifted me up as i stumbled, who knew my coffee order by heart. girls who clasped my hand through packed rooms, offering countless nights of solace, wisdom wrapped in compassion. their love was the tender ritual of wiping away my makeup and tucking me into bed, a gentle reminder that there will be another dawn. and as it broke anew, i felt the first stirrings of hope: that every ending is but a prelude to a new beginning, and within myself and the chorus of women who uplift me, a singular promise of renewal awaited.
